After Birth Care Ireland vs Sweden

Matrescence by Lucy Jones on audible got me thinking about after birth care in Dublin, Ireland, where I had my three babies, versus Stockholm, Sweden, where I live now.

I gave birth to my first child in Holles Street in 2016. I went into child birth thinking I would give birth naturally, it would be painful but I would leave after one night in a floaty, fresh, white smocked dress. I would be infused with love hormones that would over-ride all my worries, my anxieties and I would sit, in my floaty gown, breast to babe feeling content, peaceful, serene. I would want for nothing.

This is not what happened. Oscar was big and 12 days past his due date. I was to be induced.

In Holles Street with Oscar in June 2016

My body reacted strongly to the prostin gel they inserted to prepare the cervix for labour, for the next few hours I was in a constant state of contractions. The Consultant called it, an emergency section was needed. Oscar was taken out screaming and perfect. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe, something was pressing on me, my uterus had gone floppy, I had haemorrhaged. When I woke up, midwives and doctors were rushing around me in an organised frenzy. My gown had been cut off, I was lying naked under a light on an operating table as everyone around me focused on my uterus.
I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. My eyes searched for my husband and baby and instead found a stream of blood like a crack in the floor to the earth’s core. Something else had left me with that stream, something had poured out accidentally. The doctors who saved my life, who gave me my baby, couldn’t gather the pieces of me that fell lost to the earth.

I have had two more children since Oscar, they all contain pieces of me, who was left?
The last two and a half years living in Sweden has given me time to find out.

One of my friends here in Stockholm is a midwife and recently had a baby in a hospital where machines and medical supplies are carefully concealed to provide a calm environment for mothers in their own private rooms.

Look, Sweden is not perfect, I am well able to give out about it but, the way they support mothers and babies financially, mentally and physically in their early years is a triumph.

When I brought Oscar home from hospital I was suffering from PTSD and we had missed out on initial bonding time in the first 48 hours after his birth. However, all the aftercare we received was baby led. I went to see the Consultant who administered my section and he checked my scar, it looked good, it really did, the scar is invisible now. He gave me a medical term for me to be able to use, atonic uterus, but no understanding for why I was feeling shrunken down to a muted whisper trapped in a small room whilst going through the motions of daily life with a newborn.

Here in Sweden, all new mothers fill out the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale and are referred to a specialist for further care if needed. In Dublin at that time, my assigned public health nurse advised me to keep my pain relief out of reach of other small children that might be popping by to visit the baby. Some friends of mine who gave birth in Dublin in recent years received the EPDS, some didn’t.

I didn’t feel I could manage joining a breastfeeding group in those early days. As much as I craved company, getting the baby out the door gave me pangs of anxiety. I felt lonely often in the first year.

Oppna Forskolans are preschools all over Sweden for children age 0-5years and their parents to attend daily for free. A totally separate facility to Dagis/daycare. All children aged 1-5years whose parents are working, studying or seeking employment have the right to a placement at dagis. It costs around €200  per month per child and they are open generally from 7am-5pm. They are provided with snacks, food and nappies if needed and there is great emphasis on outdoor activities in all weather.

By providing free socialisation for mother and baby in the first years and then affordable, quality childcare, Sweden took on some of the caring for my children. It gave me the opportunity to think about what I wanted to do that would put me in the best position to care for my family. For a society that feels less prone to community than Ireland in many ways, they provide one for parents and baby. I am better for it and my family is better for it.

The doctor sewed me back up in Ireland but Sweden put me back together.